Why are People Bad Drivers?

Now I know that bad driving isn't unique to Jersey. In fact it's extremely common everywhere you go. But for some reason Jersey is a whole different breed of bad driver.

Coming from Colorado Springs I thought I had seen the worst of the worst when it comes to bad drivers. Soccer moms running late, people who think they're important driving around Briargate, 20 somethings driving downtown, and pretty much anyone between the ages of 16-19. These are all common types of bad driver in Colorado. Anyone who has actually lived in the Springs will know exactly what I'm talking about.

Then I moved to Florida. Bad drivers there consisted of foreign people who don't know how to drive in the US and teenagers and 20 somethings driving around in expensive cars that they didn't buy trying to look cool. If you were going 85 on the interstate then forget it...you were going to slow.

Here in New Jersey, absolutly everybody is a bad driver. Old, young, teenagers, foreign people, out-of-state people, fat people, skinny people, red people, yellow people, Italian people, Jewish people, Irish people, small people, tall people, cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians, and everyone in between. Nobody can use a turn signal and everybody is really quick on the horn. They give out DUI's like candy, even if your not really over the limit, and pull over anyone for anything if the cop is having a bad day.

Here's a good story to illustrate my point. Mike and I recently purchased a futon that was to big to fit in our car. So, we had to tie it to the roof with bungee cords. We had our hazards on the whole way home, not to mention there was a huge box sitting on top of a Mitsubishi Eclipse. The whole way home people where sitting behind us honking, driving around us giving the finger and angry looks. How stupid can you be!?

Driving to work is an absolute nightmare and I know I'm going to get into an accident before I leave here (although I hope I don't). If you live anywhere else in the country be greatful you don't have to deal with Jersey drivers!

Orange Girls

I want to take a moment and talk about something that really really bothers me. Orange people. And not just any orange people, but orange girls who live in New Jersey. I'm definitely not being racist here because anyone who has been in Jersey for more than 10 minutes will know exactly what I'm talking about.

Many of the girls closely resemble these fun loving creatures:

I don't know who told Jersey girls that it was cool to look orange and streaky, but just to set the record straight it's not. I'm almost tempted to walk into a tanningsalon and ask them to do whatever it is that makes everyone here that radio active neon color.

When I lived in Florida there were plenty of tan people who weren't orange. Maybe it's because they actually go outside to tan?

Italian Dictionary

I just wanted to write down what I call the "Italian dictionary." These are all words that don't really exist in the real world...only in New Jersey. I'll try and keep adding to the list as I hear more outragous words!

Gabagould (pronounced gob-a-goul): Capricola ham, very popular in most Italian dishes that involve ham and are not a sandwich

Galamaud (prounounced gal-a-mod): Calamari, just like you would get at any restaurant in the world. I'd just like to make a note here, that in Italy calamari is pronounced just as it is spelled

Meldigan (pronounced mel-d-gan): An actual Italian term from Italy for an American. In New Jersey many second and third generation Italians use this term for people of non-Italian descent, although they are themselves American

Jerk-Off (no pronunciation key needed): The term for someone who is a butt-head, asshole, jerk, lazy, stupid, etc.

Down the Shore (I'm sure you don't need a key here): A term for going to the beach which is down the Parkway/Turnpike

Mozzarella (pronounced mootz-er-elle): A popular Italian cheese. At first this may look like an ordinary word, but see the pronunciation key and you'll understand

It's not cool when guys wear tight pants

I know this blog is supposed to be about all the silly nuiances of living in North Jersey but I'd really like to take a minute and talk about that strange phenomenon that has come over the world called "the skinny jean."


Girls pull this look off quite nicely because it flatters their body shape which is already narrow (in most cases...ok in some cases...ok it's really not the norm anymore but I'll leave that for another blog). Guys on the other hand shove themselves into these tight jeans that are literally out of the girl's section, look like a potato, have everything muffin topping out, and we're supposed to swoon...I don't think so.


This all come from a trip to the Garden State Plaza Mike and I took last night. It's a huge mall with just about every store you can imagine. While we were walking around I noticed alot of this:

This guy looks like he can hardly move let alone "skate" which is where these jeans came from in the first place. It looks like the first move he makes is going rip a giant hole in the crotch; and I don't see how he can shove underwear under those things.

My point is this. It's not cool when guys dress like girls. It's not cool when guys buy their jeans from the girl's side. I know the Jonas Brothers might be doing it, but they aren't cool either. So guys start shopping on your own side of American Eagle, The Gap, Pac Sun, Zumiez, or wherever the hell you shop.

Welcome to the Garden State!

Welcome to the Garden State everyone!

As you may have guessed, I live in North Jersey. And not just anywhere in North Jersey, but right smack dab in the middle of Italian town a.k.a Nutley.

That's me right there, where the star is. Fifteen minutes from New York City but far enough away to feel like I'm in a whole other dimension. It's really not that bad...it's just a different culture. Every sub-group has their quirks but I never knew what I was getting into when I moved here.

I'm here because of my fiancee. That's him...in the white shirt.




He grew up in Nutley and we came back here to be close to the city. But since we can't afford to live on our own yet we are living in his parents basement. Not exactly the dream life you think about after college is over.


Don't get the impression that I'm not happy with where I am in life, because I am. This is just an in between period. One great thing that you notice when you move so far away from everything you know is that you realize it wasn't that bad and the people that visit where your from probably think your crazy to.


By the way, I'm from Colorado Springs.

It's about an hour and a half south of Denver. You know when your back home and it's not cool to say your from there? Well here people think it's amazing that I came from Colorado. I secrectly think it's because they wonder how anyone can survive West of the Mississippi River.

So here we are, both freshly graduated from college and looking for jobs in one of the most populus metropolises in the world. So far Mike has found a good job with great benefits working with a medical insurance company...and I have found internships.

I'm currently doing an internship on Long Island, which is an hour and a half commute from Nutley accross the George Washington Bridge, through the Brox, and accross the Throgs Neck Bridge. I work with a small PR firm who does work for Canon. I think that they didn't really need an intern because the owner is a little eccentric and I think he just comes up with college-type projects to keep me busy, and maybe because he took pity on my poor inexperianced soul. He pays me minimum wage ($7.15 in NY) and it costs me $20 to commute back and forth everyday. You do the math.

The other internship I've actually yet to start. It's in Manhattan and I only get $25 a day to cover commuting and lunch. This one is with an event planning company, so I guess we'll see how it turns out.

What I've learned since I've been here is that New Jersey is a whole different animal from any other state I've been to. Mostly people live here because they are...

• To poor to live in NYC
• To rich to live in NYC
• Don't want to raise kids in NYC
• Can't find an apartment in NYC
• Can't find a job in NYC
• Don't like the people in NYC
• Don't like the crowds in NYC
• Have lived jersey all their lives
• Have close family in Jersey
• Are afraid to leave Jersey
• Don't like the tourists in NYC
• Think they are to good for the city
• Think they aren't good enough
• Can't afford to live in NYC
• Don't want to pay the city taxes
• Are a big fish in a little pond

These are most of the reasons that I've observed since I've been here. I'll add and subtract more as I come accross them.

In closing I'll leave you with the story of the first person I met when I got to Nutley. That should make for a nice starting point.

Mike too me out to the Franklin Steakhouse the first night after we drove up from Florida to hang out with some of his friends. As we are walking down the street to the Steakhouse we run into a guy sptly named Vito. This is how the conversation went after Vito walked up to us:

"Hey, I heard two pieces of good news today. One, your engaged. And two, Belle Piase is open. Hey alright, I gotta go. I'll see you late, maybe not."

For all those out there who don't live in Nutley, Belle Piase is a pizzaria on "The Ave" a.k.a. Franklin Avenue a.k.a. the place to be on Friday and Saturday night.

I've never laughed so hard in my life!